UPDATED: Hide yo wife, hide yo kids. The first YouTube autotune viral hero of 2013 has arisen.
His name is
Kai (confession – we don’t know how to spell it) Kyle and he’s a homeless hitchhiker.
And if you pick him up hitchhiking out Fresno way, make sure you’re on your best behaviour, because he wields a mean hatchet.
And this is one of those stories best told backwards, starting with the money quote:
WTF? Did he says he ran up and sumashed him WITH A HATCHET?
That performance alone is enough to get
Kai Kyle autotuned and giffed into the Internet Hall of Fame. Now for the full story, which involves a 400lb race-hater who thinks he’s Jesus and two near-death experiences.
As reported on by a man wearing two watches.
And here’s the first gif.
UPDATE: This from FARKer mikefinch:
If i remember correctly his real name is kyle, he loves to sing, play guitar, (he still owes me a set of nylon strings after breaking mine) and smoke pot. He was raised as a foster kid and sortof bounced around the system untill he started traveling the festival ciurcut like any good canadian hippie. Hes not nearly as homeless as he is a hobo, movieng from place to place and being himself.
He is one of the nicest people i have ever met. Im glad so many people would buy him a meal because he deserves it. Hes one of those weird people whos frighteningly honest and straight forward. Genuine to the core.
He has a giant line drawing tattoo of a burning phoenix on his back that looks amazing. When i asked him if he was ever going to get it filled in he responded “I get someone to fill it in with body paint whenever im at a festival.
Hes the kind of person that would eat a mushroom they found growing on the side of a road. I know this because he claimed to have done it. And also that he spent a few days in the hospital and that “Yeah you shouldnt eat a mushroom unless you know what that shiat is.”