Man wakes up with hangover, no genitals

In Vienna, hangovers are proper hangovers.

At least they are in case of the “haggard man” seen stumbling around a fast food restaurant, Gasometer, a couple of mornings ago.

Known only as Marciej P, restaurant employees said he smelled of booze and had clearly been taking tablets of some sort.

Oh, and he also had some blood stains where you normally wouldn’t want blood stains.

Because when Maciej P was taken to hospital, doctors discovered  that his penis and testicles had been surgically removed.

“The victim was questioned briefly after the surgical treatment. He cannot recall what had happened,” police spokesperson Adina Mircioane said.

While he was put into a coma, police investigated. They found a crime scene in a public toilet in the entrance hall of the U3 metro line at Gasometer, according to AustrianTimes.

They knew it was a crime scene because it turned up razor blades, skin and cartilage fragments.

Damn. That’s a good night out.

Police said there’s no evidence of “third party negligence”, whatever that means.

And as for the genitals, they can’t be saved.

Somewhere around here, some genitals lay
Somewhere around here, some genitals lay

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